Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
