Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
