Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
