Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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