Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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