Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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