Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
