I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
ttyl tear gas
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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