I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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