Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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