dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
