I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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