My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
