I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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