I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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