Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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