He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
