if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
