So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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