i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
two words: eviction party
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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