We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
