is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
