Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
