I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
