The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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