Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
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I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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