Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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