I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
