I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
