Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
