I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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