I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
