you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
