Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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