Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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