Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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