she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
