is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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