I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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