Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
