he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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