We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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