Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
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Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
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Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.