Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range

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(775): View more from Nevada

My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.

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(630): View more from Illinois

It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(216): View more from Ohio

Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.

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(206): View more from Washington

she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters

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(678): View more from Georgia

It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.

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