Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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