Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
