You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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