Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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