Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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