Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
