Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
