Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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