we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
