I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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