things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
