I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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