Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
