Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
