I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
