Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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