I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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