Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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