i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
