I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
