With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
